How to start and when to have the aids talk??
Question: So it's Valentine's Day weekend and I'm going to visit my boyfriend who lives out of town. I don't get to see him very often, so I don't want to ruin the weekend by having the aids talk face to face.
I have reason to worry about it because he has told me that his exhusbands previous lover had and died of aids. He didn't say whether or not his ex contracted it or whether it was passed on to him. We have not had full blown sex but have participated in risky behavior. I would love to be with him completely, but cannot obviously till I know.
So I guess the question is...Is it ok to ask him in an e-mail and tell him he can wait till I come to answer? Should I risk ruining the weekend and ask when I arrive? How should I handle this? It has been killing me for weeks!
By the way, this is the first relationship I have been in where I have had to have this talk, so any advise would be grately appreciated.
Answers: By all mean you need to know. I would have the talk, but I would also suggest that you go together to be tested for HIV.
This way you are not accusing him of anything you just want to be safe. ( I would also be tested for all STD's)
Even after you test (If you do) I would suggest condoms for three month as there is a 3 moth window period for HIV to be detected on a antibody test.
The get an assortment of fun condoms, ribbed, glow in the dark, studded, female (yes I said female- if you take the inner ring out they are great for anal sex)
As far as oral sex goes condoms aren't totally necessary- if you get a fluid in your mouth you will spit it out or swallow which is a shorter exposure time, so a lower risk for HIV, it still allows for an STD of the throat.
And if you have the talk and he is HIV+ you can stay safe by using condoms all the time- people with HIV are living a lot longer and have very normal (safe) sex lives.
Good Luck! ANd Happy Valentines Day- weekend!!
I think this is an issue you need to discuss face to face. If he really cares for you, it won't ruin your weekend. I feel it will make you closer. The sooner you talk about it, the better. Good luck.
Yes you should have the talk! I would even demand he get tested. This is your life! If he does not understand then he is not even worth the time. I personally would have already consulted with him.
Just tell him you know what has happened and you want to make sure that everything is ok. Before you have sex with him, have him get tested and show you the results. Sometimes it can take 4 or 5 years for any symptoms to show up, and he may not even know he has it, if he does. You do not want aids my friend. Put yourself first on this one!
I have reason to worry about it because he has told me that his exhusbands previous lover had and died of aids. He didn't say whether or not his ex contracted it or whether it was passed on to him. We have not had full blown sex but have participated in risky behavior. I would love to be with him completely, but cannot obviously till I know.
So I guess the question is...Is it ok to ask him in an e-mail and tell him he can wait till I come to answer? Should I risk ruining the weekend and ask when I arrive? How should I handle this? It has been killing me for weeks!
By the way, this is the first relationship I have been in where I have had to have this talk, so any advise would be grately appreciated.
Answers: By all mean you need to know. I would have the talk, but I would also suggest that you go together to be tested for HIV.
This way you are not accusing him of anything you just want to be safe. ( I would also be tested for all STD's)
Even after you test (If you do) I would suggest condoms for three month as there is a 3 moth window period for HIV to be detected on a antibody test.
The get an assortment of fun condoms, ribbed, glow in the dark, studded, female (yes I said female- if you take the inner ring out they are great for anal sex)
As far as oral sex goes condoms aren't totally necessary- if you get a fluid in your mouth you will spit it out or swallow which is a shorter exposure time, so a lower risk for HIV, it still allows for an STD of the throat.
And if you have the talk and he is HIV+ you can stay safe by using condoms all the time- people with HIV are living a lot longer and have very normal (safe) sex lives.
Good Luck! ANd Happy Valentines Day- weekend!!
I think this is an issue you need to discuss face to face. If he really cares for you, it won't ruin your weekend. I feel it will make you closer. The sooner you talk about it, the better. Good luck.
Yes you should have the talk! I would even demand he get tested. This is your life! If he does not understand then he is not even worth the time. I personally would have already consulted with him.
Just tell him you know what has happened and you want to make sure that everything is ok. Before you have sex with him, have him get tested and show you the results. Sometimes it can take 4 or 5 years for any symptoms to show up, and he may not even know he has it, if he does. You do not want aids my friend. Put yourself first on this one!
More questions & answers:
- Can HIV be passed along by taking a shower after someone infected?
- How many people a year die by drunk drivers?
- Can u die if a pencil lid got in your skin but you take it off but some stuff are still in your skin?
- Is crohns disease fatal ?if so what percent of people die from it?
- Can you die from MS?
- Can you die of celiac disease???
- Can a person die with a drop of water? If so, how?
- Can u die from crohns diease?
- Do people die from parkinson's disease?
The health informations are posted by the website users and for your use only, and without responsibility on content2point0.com.